CraigMcM
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I recounted this to an Autopian article about rental car experiences, and thought it might interest people here:
I was sent from Detroit to Florida for work once, in mid-February, in the mid-1990s.
Dreary Detroit, and the women in the office knew I’d not been to Florida, ever.
Mid-20’s me, I thought nothing of it; it was a job. Office-arranged travel plans.
Well, it was a fiasco. Shiat traffic to DTW airport, clocked a crow to the front grille
of company van on the way to DTW, took forever to find parking, slogged thru lines
at DTW, flight delayed a couple of times due to weather, more nonsense at JAX,
delays at baggage claim, etc. SIGH.
Got my bag and made my way to the car rental counter.
Said “I am me, you should have a reservation.”
The lovely clerk tapped on her keyboard for a moment before saying
“Yes, Mr. you, you can have a sub-compact or a compact.”
Thoroughly disinterested in the day’s shenanigans up to that point,
I merely rolled my eyes in resignation, and said, sarcastically, “Surprise me.”
More tippity-tapping ensued on her keyboard for a few seconds, then she replied
with a smirk, “For another ten dollars per day, I can give you a midsize sedan.”
I thought about it for a second or two, decided I’d gladly reimburse my employer
the $30 it’d cost if they scoffed, and was sent on my way.
Documents signed, I boarded the shuttle bus to transport me to the lot.
The driver told me it was just a few spaces into the row he stopped at,
and I disembarked the bus.
Two to three spaces to go, and I come to realize I’d been rented a Saab 9000 sedan.
I pop the trunk to put my bag in, then climb in behind the wheel. Started the engine.
It smelled new.
Look at the dash, and realize I’m in a brand-new, fully-tricked 9000 sedan, less than
400 miles on the odometer. Leather interior, premium sound system, HEATED seats
and exterior mirrors, sunroof, all the bells and whistles. This car was LOADED
to the nines for a winter climate, and I’m driving it in Florida.
I had a 2.5-hour drive to my destination because my employer was cheap
about travel accommodations.
Adjusted the seat, found a great radio station, opened the sunroof,
and had a delightful drive for a couple of hours on smooth roads
while seeing greenery in mid-February.
Back at the office, the ladies were babbling about all things Florida,
while I merely replied that it was nice to see greenery and drive on
well-maintained roads.
That experience made my later Florida trip seem like a loser,
what with a shiatty Ford Contour to get me around. And that trip
involved my father, who was a drunk asshiole all his life.
I was sent from Detroit to Florida for work once, in mid-February, in the mid-1990s.
Dreary Detroit, and the women in the office knew I’d not been to Florida, ever.
Mid-20’s me, I thought nothing of it; it was a job. Office-arranged travel plans.
Well, it was a fiasco. Shiat traffic to DTW airport, clocked a crow to the front grille
of company van on the way to DTW, took forever to find parking, slogged thru lines
at DTW, flight delayed a couple of times due to weather, more nonsense at JAX,
delays at baggage claim, etc. SIGH.
Got my bag and made my way to the car rental counter.
Said “I am me, you should have a reservation.”
The lovely clerk tapped on her keyboard for a moment before saying
“Yes, Mr. you, you can have a sub-compact or a compact.”
Thoroughly disinterested in the day’s shenanigans up to that point,
I merely rolled my eyes in resignation, and said, sarcastically, “Surprise me.”
More tippity-tapping ensued on her keyboard for a few seconds, then she replied
with a smirk, “For another ten dollars per day, I can give you a midsize sedan.”
I thought about it for a second or two, decided I’d gladly reimburse my employer
the $30 it’d cost if they scoffed, and was sent on my way.
Documents signed, I boarded the shuttle bus to transport me to the lot.
The driver told me it was just a few spaces into the row he stopped at,
and I disembarked the bus.
Two to three spaces to go, and I come to realize I’d been rented a Saab 9000 sedan.
I pop the trunk to put my bag in, then climb in behind the wheel. Started the engine.
It smelled new.
Look at the dash, and realize I’m in a brand-new, fully-tricked 9000 sedan, less than
400 miles on the odometer. Leather interior, premium sound system, HEATED seats
and exterior mirrors, sunroof, all the bells and whistles. This car was LOADED
to the nines for a winter climate, and I’m driving it in Florida.
I had a 2.5-hour drive to my destination because my employer was cheap
about travel accommodations.
Adjusted the seat, found a great radio station, opened the sunroof,
and had a delightful drive for a couple of hours on smooth roads
while seeing greenery in mid-February.
Back at the office, the ladies were babbling about all things Florida,
while I merely replied that it was nice to see greenery and drive on
well-maintained roads.
That experience made my later Florida trip seem like a loser,
what with a shiatty Ford Contour to get me around. And that trip
involved my father, who was a drunk asshiole all his life.
